The
Ten Reasons Why HIGHLY INTELLIGENT
Men Fail With Dating Women... AND WHAT TO DO
ABOUT IT...
By
David DeAngelo
I've
been teaching men how to become more successful
with women and dating for a several years now...
and one "problem scenario" just keeps
coming up OVER AND OVER... and OVER
and OVER and OVER again...
...and it's really amazes me.
I'm going to refer to it as "The Genius
Failure Paradox".
"The Genius Failure Paradox" is the
tendency for UNUSUALLY intelligent men to have
very LOW levels of success with women and dating.
After contemplating this particular paradox,
discussing it, and working on it for an awesome
amount of time, I'd like to share my thoughts
about it with you.
I assume that if you've read this far, then you
see probably yourself as smarter than the average
guy.
You know that you're a little different than
other guys.
You probably realized at a young age that you saw
things differently, and thought differently than
others in school...
And you've probably realized that your smart mind
gives you an advantage over others in many areas
of life...
Your smart mind gives you a particular type of
advantage that can be very, very powerful in life:
YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.
Smart people get used to being "right",
because they usually ARE right.
And when you're RIGHT more often than others, you
can get ahead in many situations.
But unfortunately, this smart mind of yours can
actually be WORSE than USELESS when it comes to a
key area of life:
WOMEN AND DATING.
By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.
It can actually be like having a hammer when you
need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool you
have for the job, you'll most likely make the
situation WORSE.
Of course, it's hard for a smart guy to even
IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could
HURT his chances for success...
But trust me, this is one of those situations.
So relax, open your smart mind, and let me share
with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail with
women... and what to do about it.
REASON #1: THEY'RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN'T
OR WON'T SEE IT OR ADMIT IT
I mentioned that smart guys are used to being
RIGHT in most situations.
And what do most smart guys do when they come
across a situation where they're WRONG?
They find a new situation... one that fits their
strength. They know they'll be right next time,
so they just walk away... knowing that it won't
be long before they're right again.
(OR they let the "problem situation"
destroy them... more on that later.)
Well, the BITCH about being wrong when it comes
to women and dating is THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN AND
HIDE.
There's no quick "I'm right" around the
next corner to make you feel better.
It only takes "failing" with a few
women in a row for a smart guy to see the pattern...
and realize that something isn't working.
Solution? Think harder.
A smart guy just assumes that his logic must be
good... so he just keeps thinking harder.
But when no success comes, it really starts
to become mentally difficult.
Accepting that you're wrong is a VERY hard thing
for a "smart guy".
Accepting that you're not only wrong, but you
have NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even more
difficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the
following logical conclusion:
I AM A SMART GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT
HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN
THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.
Try that on for a self-defeating idea.
REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT
In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that a
good, solid, workable answer could come from
someone "dumber" than them, so they
discount any idea that comes from an "obviously
less intelligent person" before trying it.
Let me ask you a question:
If you were going to be walking across Africa on
foot, would you rather have your guide be the guy
on this planet with the highest I.Q., or a
caveman who lived a million years ago that had an
I.Q. of about 50... but who grew up being chased
by lions and all kinds of animals that wanted to
eat him all his life?
It's an interesting question.
Now, hopefully you'd like to have the guide who
isn't the smartest guy around... but who has
escaped from many, many dangerous situations with
deadly animals...
But now let me ask you:
If you'd like to learn how to be more successful
with women and dating, would you take advice from
a guy who isn't very intelligent, but who knows
how to attract women?
There's something about being smart that makes
some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or
instruction from anyone who isn't either as smart
or smarter than them.
Well, any SMART GUY can see the folly in this
particular approach... once it's examined closely.
If you've been making this mistake, then you need
to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard, and
open your eyes.
Look around.
Learn from some "dumb" guys... and let
them teach you how to get what you REALLY want.
REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS
It BLOWS MY MIND how many smart guys I meet that
just don't GET IT when it comes to basic social
skills.
It's as if they have logically reasoned that
social skills are for lower beings who need to
play games... and not worth the time it would
take to learn them.
In fact, I believe that there are a lot of
smart guys running around this planet who don't
even have "social skills" and "be
a cool guy that people like" in their "MENTAL
MODEL" of what it could possibly take to be
successful with women and dating.
Social skills are just that... SKILLS.
They're not social INFORMATION.
They're not social THEORIES.
They're social SKILLS.
And you don't get them by THINKING about them.
You get them by GETTING them.
Excellent social skills are the foundation for
good communication with other humans... and if
you don't have good social skills, you
dramatically lower your chances for success with
women.
REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT
Smart guys do something that fascinates the hell
out of me...
They come up with all the reasons why everything
WON'T WORK when it comes to women and dating.
They actually figure out why what they would like
to do will probably fail...
They use their amazing creative imaginations to
imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and scenes...
and then they use those imaginary outcomes to
create negative emotions... which ultimately stop
them from having success with women and dating.
THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.
Now, if you've thought something through and come
up with a good reason why it would fail, it makes
sense to not do it, right?
I mean, why would you want to do things that are
going to fail?
It's sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking when it
comes to the REAL WORLD... and success with women.
Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND women, and
they don't UNDERSTAND what it takes to be
successful with women, they are working with bad
figures. They're wrong before they even start
figuring!
Using your mind to come up with all the reasons
why things won't work in this area of your life
leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You must learn to overcome this habit if you have
it.
REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY "INFORMATIONAL
SOLUTIONS"
What does a smart guy do when he runs into a
problem... or he needs to figure something out?
He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the
problem.
MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.
Information is the friend of a smart guy.
Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop on
the internet and search for how to eliminate it.
Don't know how to change the alternator on your
car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to
page 147.
Don't know the definition of a word? Open up your
dictionary.
MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.
So what do smart guys do when it comes to
overcoming a problem with women?
They want MORE INFORMATION.
They think the answer lies in learning just ONE
MORE TECHNIQUE... or one more magic concept.
Well what if there were a situation in life where
the "get more information" strategy
actually made things WORSE?
How would you even know that it was making things
worse?
Now, I don't want to suggest that learning more
about how to be successful with women is a bad
thing. It's not.
But if you have a problem that is EMOTIONAL or
PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million
theories on it probably isn't going to help you
very much.
You need to get out in the real world and try
some stuff!
You need to look at the REAL problem... the ROOT
of the problem.
When it comes to women and dating, there's a very
good chance that you have MORE than enough "information".
Smart guys often use "more information"
to distract them from TAKING ACTION.
I've heard this referred to as "Creative
Avoidance".
Nod silently if you've ever figured out a
creative way to avoid facing something in your
life.
Good, thank you.
REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC INSTEAD OF
EMOTION
NEWS JUST IN: Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men
who make them THINK.
Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them FEEL.
So what do most smart guys do when they first
meet a woman?
EXACTLY!
They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.
I'm shaking my head right now...
Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL
conversations and interactions because that's
where THEY feel comfortable... not knowing that
they're SHOOTING THELSEVES IN THE FOOT by doing
it!
Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will
type the collected works of Shakespeare before
you will make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by
engaging her in logical conversation.
When you start a logical conversation with a
woman you've just met, you are basically taking
out a NEON SIGN that says "I don't get it
when it comes to women" and putting it on
your head.
Typical "logical" conversations include
talking about work, family, school, and jobs...
discussing politics, religion, weather... and
anything that has to do with math, science, or
INTELLIGENCE.
On the other hand, if you start talking to a
woman and you say "OK, so tell me something...
Why is it that all women say that they want
sweet, nice guys... but they all date sexy,
selfish bad boys?" (and then make fun of any
answer she gives) you're having an EMOTIONAL
conversation.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, keep
reading. You need more help than I thought.
REASON #7: THEY'RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE
OF THE MOMENT
Smart people usually have time to THINK about
things.
If you're taking a test, you can sit there and
work out the answers.
If you have a math problem, you can work on it
until you've figured it out.
If you're trying to fix something, you can keep
working on it until it's fixed.
Smart guys are used to being able to take at
least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and show
off their "good sides" in most
situations.
Not so with women...
If you don't know what to do at every step along
the way, you'll be shut down very quickly.
Women have an AMAZING "He doesn't get it"
radar system.
Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious
tests that they throw at men to separate the
"get its" from the "don't get its".
And if you don't get it, then you're going to
fail one of these tests VERY quickly.
But the worst part is that you won't ever KNOW
that you were being tested... OR that you failed.
Smart guys aren't used to dealing with complex
EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the
moment... and especially the "women and
dating" kind.
One of they keys to becoming more successful with
women and dating is learning to handle all of the
tests that women throw at you effortlessly.
But before you can learn how to deal with the
tests, you must first learn how to communicate on
an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you
have fundamental social skills, and how to keep
your cool in the moment.
REASON #8: THEY THINK THAT DOING "NICE"
THINGS IS THE "SMART WAY"
OK, let me ask you a trick question:
If I told you that you were going to have a date
with the supermodel of your choice, which of the
following would you choose as a "smart"
way of preparing:
1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers
are, and show up with a dozen of them so she
would be "wowed".
2) Learn about her favorite travel destination so
you could discuss it with her.
3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so
you could take her to dinner... and she could see
that you cared enough to choose something that
she enjoyed.
OK, time's up. Which did you choose?
Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK
question.
The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE.
But WHY?
These three options all seemed logical, right?
I mean, why WOULDN'T you want to show up with her
favorite flowers?
Why WOULDN'T you want to talk about her favorite
places to travel?
Why WOULDN'T you want to take her to eat her
favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Go with me here...
Smart guys think that they're being CLEVER when
they do things like buying a woman her favorite
flowers... and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.
Right?
In their minds, they're thinking "I'm going
to be the guy who is thinking ahead... and I'm
going to show up with the flowers that I KNOW she
loves... and she's going to see them and like me
more because of it".
Makes sense... good math, right?
Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that these
"smart" guys make is not realizing that
it doesn't actually take a smart person to think
like this!
In fact, ANY jackass can figure out how to kiss a
woman's ass.
And guess what?
WOMEN KNOW THIS!
And guess what else?
EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.
An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance, will
think he's being such the charmer by using this
"thoughtful" approach...
...and the woman he is chasing will interpret it
as just another Wussy who's trying to MANIPULATE
her.
Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.
MISTAKE #9: ALWAYS NEEDING TO BE THE EXPERT
Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed
to be "right"?
Have you ever met someone who would actually
argue with you about something they knew nothing
about... and make a fool of themselves because
they just couldn't shut their "smart mouths"?
Over the last few years helping guys improve
their success with women, I see this one pattern
over and over again...
Smart guys don't like to be "beginners"
at ANYTHING.
They don't like the idea of screwing up...
especially if others are watching.
They want to maintain this "smart guy"
image of themselves... so they try to always be
"The Expert" at whatever they do.
Instead of saying "Hey, you know what? I'm a
beginner at this... how do I do it? What should I
do first? What next?"... and instead of
being totally OK with screwing up, making
mistakes, and making a fool of themselves in
front of others in order to LEARN...
...they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or
others thinking that they're beginners... so they
wind up ultimately FAILING.
MORE NEWS JUST IN: It's OK to be a beginner.
MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH FEAR AND
OTHER EMOTIONS
A smart guy's STRENGTH is his MIND.
His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
Totally stopped.
FROZEN.
And since many smart guys aren't comfortable
dealing with things they're not good at, they
just repress or RUN away from fear.
Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolation
than admit that they don't know how to deal with
their emotions... or, GODFORBID, ask for help!
Hey, I went for YEARS like this.
I know what it's like.
But the reality is that any guy can learn to
handle and even MASTER his emotions (even fear)...
if he just takes the time and effort to learn HOW
to do it.
If this is you, then do yourself a big favor...
take the time. Take the effort.
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you...
it doesn't matter.
What matters is you doing the things that YOU
need to do FOR YOU.
...I think the reason why I'm so fascinated with
"The Genius Failure Paradox" is because
I have had to struggle with all of these issues
for a lot of years of my life.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy on
the planet...
But I don't think mamma raised no fool.
And it always bothered the hell out of me that
even though I was so good at figuring things out,
I couldn't figure WOMEN out.
Something tells me that you know what I'm talking
about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall for
a few years... trying all kinds of crazy "logical"
stuff... I finally got the "bright"
idea to start studying guys who were "naturally"
good with women.
Of course, I found out that you could be both NOT
SMART, and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at the same
time.
I also learned that you can be SMART and VERY
SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully studying what the "naturals"
did with women... and learning how they "thought"
about the topic, I began to realize that success
with women wasn't entirely LOGICAL.
Much of what I learned was very tough for me to
accept... because my logical brain just didn't
want to buy into it.
One thing I saw was guys pushing women away from
them... and having the women then chase them in
response.
Made no sense at all.
I saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokes
about them to their faces... and then watched
those women become "little girls" in
response... unable to maintain their composure,
and therefore unable to maintain their
manipulative power...
It took me quite a long time, but I continued to
learn, test, and refine what I was learning until
I personally figured out how to approach women in
any situation... get any woman's number I wanted
anytime I wanted... date any type of woman I
wanted...
...and most importantly, GET RID of that "empty"
feeling that I carried around my whole life
because I didn't know how to attract women.
And once I got this area of my own life together,
I decided to help other guys get this area of
THEIR lives together.
The ultimate result of all this time, effort, and
energy is my free Dating Tips Newsletter.
And
I'd like to invite you to sign up.
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Your
Friend,

David
DeAngelo