DATING
TIPS MAILBAG: How To Tell If She's Single
By
David DeAngelo
Answers To Two
Common Questions...
I get different
variations of two questions so often, that I'm
going to address them both quickly.
1) What if she
has a boyfriend?
MY COMMENTS:
Say "Next"
and find yourself a woman that doesn't have a
boyfriend. I personally don't think it's worth
the hassle, energy, or effort. Plus, I don't like
to be the guy that ruins relationships. And I
personally don't like to date women who have no
integrity (think about it). So just find a girl
that's single... and chances are that someday
soon the one you like will be single... and
you'll be more attractive because you're dating
other women.
2) I have this
girl that's been a friend for 47 years, and how
do I get her to feel attracted to me?
MY COMMENTS:
Start making fun
of her more, tease her about things, and let her
know the details about the women that you're
dating. Call her less often, and MOST IMPORTANTLY...
if you're planning on getting together with a
friend, be ready to risk the relationship
forever, as involvement often leads to problems
which damage relationships for life. Much better
in most cases to find someone new...
***QUESTION***
I have a
question. There's this girl that I really like,
and she tells me that she just wants to be
friends, and I was just wondering, what can I do
to make her change her mind?
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
This is a great
question, and I get it a lot. I think of this as
a much different question than the above, as it's
usually something that can be fixed. Here's how:
If most of the women that you meet are telling
you that they want to be "just friends",
then it means that YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING TO MAKE
THEM ALL FEEL THAT WAY. The good news is that if
you're doing something to make them feel that
way, then you can start doing something different
to make them feel ATTRACTED to you instead.
You're probably
not going to be able to do much for the ones that
are already telling you that they want to just
"be friends", but here's what to do in
the future:
STOP ACTING LIKE
A "FRIEND" WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM!
If you act like
a "nice, friendly guy" then a woman is
NOT going to feel attracted to you. What do I
mean by "nice" and "friendly"?
I mean don't
give her too many compliments, don't act shy and
don't smother her with attention. Don't call her
every five minutes. Don't talk with a tentative,
weak voice. Don't go far out of your way to be
accommodating too early. Don't tell her that you
have feelings for her before you've gotten
intimate with her. DO tease her.
DO act Cocky
& Funny around her. DO end phone
conversations and meetings first. DO act a little
bit too confident. DO use The Kiss Test early on
in the relationship. DO speak with strength and
confidence.
Are you with me?
If you're
getting a common response from most of the women
you meet, then the common denominator is YOU and
the way you're acting. So keep working on it
until you get the results you want.
***QUESTION***
I am a good
looking athletic guy. When single I have never
had trouble getting dates. I use the cocky, funny
and mysterious rap. I have been in and out of a
relationship with the same wonderful and
challenging woman for nine (I know its ridiculous)
years. I know that I want to spend my life with
this woman, but she has lost her interest and me
and says she thinks of me as a brother. She
complains that I am not touchy feely enough, but
then rejects me when I try to be so. I am so
confused by what she says and what she means. I
know that I lost my edge and she knows that I
love her unconditionally. I know that she fell
for the cocky guy and said that she wanted to
turn me into a teddy bear. I tried unsuccessfully
to do that for a while and now that I want to
really do it and think that I actually could, she
does not want it from me now.
My neediness and
smothering have become a burden to her. But it
seems unnatural and insincere to play games
"hard to get" or try and make her
jealous. Obviously, over nine years a lot has
happened and there has been pain and growth on
both sides. What can I do to both excite her and
bring back the spark, but also love her honestly
for myself and for her? I know she loves me, but
how can I help her to fall in love with me.
Please help me. I do not want to lose her.
Confused Reader
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
First of all,
remember that relationships are not logical,
cause-and-effect situations that adhere to the
laws of physics. Most often, there seems to be no
rhyme or reason for what is happening (My goal is
to help men to understand what's going on...).
If you've read
my book and other newsletters, then you know that
I believe that women usually SAY that they want
one thing (a nice, stable, considerate guy) but
that they are ATTRACTED to something else (a
challenging, confident, funny, hard-to-get,
unpredictable buy).
If you want her
to be interested in you, then you should probably
do a few things:
1) Stop calling
her.
2) Start dating
other women, and let her know about it.
3) Act Cocky
& Funny when she calls you.
4) Play hard to
get... end conversations first, don't call her
back, etc.
5) Stop acting
so nice and sensitive. I know that some of this
stuff might sound like mind games, but you have a
couple of choices: Be more interesting and become
more attractive to her, or keep doing what you're
doing, and keep making her run. I hope this helps.
***Question***
How do you find
out if a girl is available? You seem to talk to
women that you just met. How and when do you find
out if they have a boyfriend or a husband. If I
knew how to get past this part I know I would buy
your book."
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
Would you
believe that one of my all-time very favorite
questions is "Are you single?" If I'm
interested in a girl, I'll just stop, look her in
the eyes, and in a casual tone say "Are you
single?" If she is, she says "yes",
and if not, she says "no." Sure, a
woman will sometimes lie, but it's such an
unusual question, they usually answer honestly.
If I get a yes, then I just say "Great, do
you have email..." and go into the "3
Minute" technique you've read about in my
book or other newsletters.
The key here is
not to ask like you're afraid, nervous, etc. It
has to come across like you're asking what time
it is. Imagine that you're asking your best
friend what time it is... what tone of voice
would you use? It would be cool, casual, and
straightforward. Try this one, you'll like it.
Now go buy my book and learn what to do after you
get the numbers!
***QUESTION
FROM A WOMAN***
Dear David D.,
You are right on
(regarding how to completely turn a woman OFF).
So tell me... if someone is smothering me, how
can I turn HIM off?
I can't stand it.
He's calling me pumpkin. He got to tell me he
loves me, every five minutes (I don't respond).
He's constantly in my face. He thinks I like it
when he grabs me every five seconds (I'm
disgusted!! And I say so!!!!!!!). He thinks he's
moving to my new town with me (not invited - not
even close). It somehow escapes him when I tell
him, no.
He even insists
on carrying my cell phone from car to door! He
knows I hate it but he takes it right out of my
hand because he believes he "should" do
that for me.
I think he's
intelligent enough, but a psycho when it comes to
me. I have only known him six weeks and by the
third day, he was asking me to move in (NOT).
My friends have
told me to run. I would but he's perfectly fine
except for the attention he pours on me. If
there's something I could do to curb this, I
would. He's not listening. I'm constantly
plotting to avoid him because of this. He's
driving me completely insane. I can't stand it.
PLEASE HELP!!!
L.
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
First of all,
have him go to:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com and get a copy of my
book. No, really.
I've included
this because I want to make an important point:
THIS GUY THINKS THAT HE'S BEING A PERFECT
GENTLEMAN, AND THAT WHAT HE'S DOING SHOULD BE
MAKING HER FEEL ATTRACTED TO HIM.
But because he's
doing what makes logical sense instead of WHAT
WORKS, he's causing this woman to feel repelled
to the point where she's "constantly
plotting to avoid him..."
Here's the
recipe for success:
9 parts teasing,
playing hard-to-get, acting Cocky & Funny,
and 1 part being nice. If that doesn't work,
decrease niceness to 1 part in 20.
In the beginning
of a relationship, a woman is FAR more likely to
feel ATTRACTED to you if you are NOT smothering
her with attention.
As far as your
situation is concerned, I would seriously tell
this guy to get my book, and to stop acting like
a wuss. Good luck.
***QUESTION***
Hi David,
I read your
ebook and it's truly helped me very much. I've
become more cocky and funny and from time to time
I'll pattern or tell stories to add more
dimensions. And it's worked very well.
But I have a
question for you. I've observed that most, if not
all, of my successes come unplanned or unexpected.
The ones I've told myself to consciously work on
all in some way ended in some disappointment.
What's your take on this? And a more general
question for you. What do you think to you are
the key factors to success (meaning achieving a
goal)? much thankx.
A.
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
As far as
success in general is concerned, read "Think
And Grow Rich" by Hill. It's all in there.
As far as your
successes coming "unplanned", I have
some thoughts...
You mentioned
that you're acting more Cocky & Funny in
general. If you embody the qualities that are
naturally attractive to women, then THE CONTENT
DOESN'T MATTER. You can talk about anything, and
it will work. I've found that I can make women
feel attracted to me now just by teasing them and
busting on them. I have women ask me out without
them knowing ANYTHING about me...
You see, if you
have an agenda, other people can usually sense it.
They pick it up in your subtle body language.
When you're
teasing and acting Cocky & Funny, a woman
says to herself "This guy obviously isn't
just trying to pick up on me, because he'd never
say some of these things if he were..."
And the more you
do it, the more fun it becomes, and the more you
don't have an agenda... and the more attractive
you become. Keep up the good work.
And remember: Be
ATTRACTIVE, NOT JUST INTERESTING.
***COMEDY
EMAIL OF THE WEEK,
The longest sentence I've personally ever read (and
it was longer before I edited it!***
hey David I love
what you do to help all of us guys out there your
the best and I would like to share a success
story well see I have a girlfriend who I am going
out with and I admit I am a player and I can get
alot of girls but its mostly from your help that
I am so successful see this girlfriend of mine I
have broken up with her three times and she keeps
coming back to me and I like her and I dont want
to break up with her but by doing so she gets
scared and realizes what she has lost and I take
her back but one time when I broke up with her
and I got this thing where I can kinda read
chicks minds and I know what they want and I knew
she wanted to kiss me so I did the kiss test,
after awhile she said you know thats a turn on
then I said really I kept looking into her eyes
and saw her looking at my lips so I grabed and I
kissed her thanks for your help but I also need
your help with something else there is a girl at
my school who is really hot but she is like two
years older then me... I notice that she glances
at me alot... but I dont know what to do and how
to talk to her cause... shes always talking to
her friends or shes with them and I cant go up
then cause shes busy and she is the only one girl
I cant get, what do I need to do my friend said I
should look deep into her eyes and give her
alittle smile while I walk past her but I need to
know if thats a good Idea cause I dont want to
mess up and not get her so please help me out
thanks man your the best...
>MY
COMMENTS:
Go to English
class more... I had to stop reading and take nine
breaths while editing your question! lol...
OK, if I were
you, I'd walk up to her and say:
"Hey, I
don't have time to talk, but do you have email?"
If she says yes,
then get it, and email her this:
"Hey, what
up? I've heard that you're cool, and I think that
we should be friends. Write back."
Then tease her a
lot... she'll love it.
If that doesn't
work, then write me another 25 line sentence and
I'll see what I can do.
***QUESTION***
I am not tall
and I am not short. I'm 5' 7" with an
athletic build. Sometimes I see women whom I
consider very attractive that are taller than me.
From my past history I have noticed that MOST
women do not want to date men shorter than
themselves. In many cases women want to date men
considerably taller than themselves, taller than
I am.
Is there some
strategy to getting past the height thing. I know
confidence can conquer almost all but I have been
turned away so many times by a taller woman that
I don't even try anymore. I am not attracted only
to taller women, I just come across some, just
like any other woman, I would like to get to know
and possibly ask for a date.
J.
>>>MY
COMMENTS:
This is a great
question! Here are my thoughts...
I have a friend
that is about 5'5, and he is ALWAYS surrounded by
hot women... he even has a reputation as being
the guy that always has ten hot women with him
every time he's out.
I am currently
dating a woman that is taller than me (she's the
single most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my
life, and yes, she usually prefers taller men).
I also have
another friend who's about 5'6 or so that only
dates models and women who look like models (and
yes, they are often taller than him).
What's the deal?
Here's what I
think you should do: Make it her problem instead
of yours.
If I meet a tall
woman that I think is attractive, I will
immediately take the mindset "I don't
usually like women that are taller than me, but
I'll make an exception for this one."
Then I figure
out how to communicate this to her...
I might start
talking to her, then say "Well, at first I
wasn't going to come over and talk to you because
I don't usually date women who are taller than me...
but I'm glad that I talked to you, because you're
fun..."
YOU HAVE TO
COMMUNICATE THAT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S MAKING THE
EXCEPTION! Or, if you want to really give her a
hard time, you could make her laugh and have fun
with her, then say "Well, it's really too
bad you're so tall..." then give her a hard
time and mention how if she were only a few
inches shorter you'd ask her out...
Are you with me?
Don't imagine limitations for yourself, and don't
let her limitations be yours.
And if you're
reading this and saying "Well, this isn't my
problem", realize that this can be used in
ANY situation where you think that a woman has a
certain "type" that she's attracted to....
And by the way...
if you're reading this right now and you REALLY
get a world-class, complete education in how to
attract women, then I'd recommend you invest in
my eBook, Double Your Dating, and sign up for my
free Dating Tips Newsletter. In them, I explain
the most advanced concepts available anywhere in
the world on meeting and dating women.
If it's time
that you got this area of your life handled, then
these are the tools that will help you do it.
Just go to:
Free
Dating Tips Newsletter And Download eBook
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How To Tell If
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